This is for the best.

17 Apr 2014

rocprinceray:

White People: - “Black people are always pulling the race card!”


Welcome to Amurrika.

rocprinceray:

White People: - “Black people are always pulling the race card!”

Welcome to Amurrika.

(via dressesandyarn)

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17 Apr 2014

Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming:

1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down.

2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal.

3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death.

4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition.

5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was.

6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed.

7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle.

8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt.

9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”)

10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO.

In respectful response to a poem tilted, “Ten men women have warned me against becoming." /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

I wouldn’t call it a “response” to the other poem, which carries truth too, but more of a companion. I recognize all of these girls and more. The loud girl, the angry girl, the rebellious girl…my life is as full of things I’ve been told not to be as things I’ve been encouraged to do.

(via savanna)

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17 Apr 2014

celticcasualty:

unimpressedcats:

POTATO POTATO POTATO

I have never seen so much excitement over a potato in my life.

Okay, but really, that is a fair representation of how I feel about potatoes.

celticcasualty:

unimpressedcats:

POTATO POTATO POTATO

I have never seen so much excitement over a potato in my life.

Okay, but really, that is a fair representation of how I feel about potatoes.

(Source: asyanotthecontinental, via nerdymouse)

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17 Apr 2014

So some asshole posted this on Facebook today. I make a point of not being offended by the idiots on Facebook, and I’m fully in favor of people having different opinions than me but…I’m not crazy, right? This is WILDLY offensive, and I find myself actually FURIOUS. Idk…maybe I should eat and calm down.

So some asshole posted this on Facebook today. I make a point of not being offended by the idiots on Facebook, and I’m fully in favor of people having different opinions than me but…I’m not crazy, right? This is WILDLY offensive, and I find myself actually FURIOUS. Idk…maybe I should eat and calm down.

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17 Apr 2014

Well…that’s interesting. Especially since my (black) husband came out with a slight automatic preference for European Americans over African Americans. I maintain that this is a silly test, dependent more on how well you can automatically follow directions than how you feel about a race of people, although smarter people than me disagree. So, if you put credence in this sort of thing, and if you’d like to see how racist YOU are, go to https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html.

Well…that’s interesting.
Especially since my (black) husband came out with a slight automatic preference for European Americans over African Americans. I maintain that this is a silly test, dependent more on how well you can automatically follow directions than how you feel about a race of people, although smarter people than me disagree. So, if you put credence in this sort of thing, and if you’d like to see how racist YOU are, go to https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html.

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16 Apr 2014

dynastylnoire:

velvetbrown:

clatterbane:

On the plus side, I also got some of these. They’re really, really good, and like 25% mango puree. They’re kind of like a dense sorbet.

Oh my god
Rubicon make ice pops. I need to find guava & watermelon.

O.O WANT

DA FUQ?!? Where do I get those!?!?!?!?!

dynastylnoire:

velvetbrown:

clatterbane:

On the plus side, I also got some of these. They’re really, really good, and like 25% mango puree. They’re kind of like a dense sorbet.

Oh my god

Rubicon make ice pops. I need to find guava & watermelon.

O.O WANT

DA FUQ?!? Where do I get those!?!?!?!?!

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16 Apr 2014

I think we still live in a culture that assumes that men are single by choice and women are single because no one wants them.

Sara Eckel, This is Why You’re Still Single (It’s Not Why You Think)  (via aprettypastiche)

Hmm…I wonder if this is more true in big cities, because I kind of assume the opposite, especially if the people in question are over 30.

(Source: live-to-the-point-of-tears, via dynastylnoire)

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16 Apr 2014

beatonna:

Hey there!  I’m just reminding you that I do have a store, and if you like free comics and things that I make, I’d sure appreciate your support!  There are many other great vendors at Topatoco too, all worth a browse. 
-Kate

WELL. That’s good to know.

beatonna:

Hey there!  I’m just reminding you that I do have a store, and if you like free comics and things that I make, I’d sure appreciate your support!  There are many other great vendors at Topatoco too, all worth a browse. 

-Kate

WELL. That’s good to know.

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16 Apr 2014

nothingshortof:

latenightalaska:

jhameia:

whiny-sugar-glider:

creepylurker:

they want to go fishing but ICE

bald eagles look grumpy on their best days but this is grumpy waddling and it is amazing

he walks over to the others in the last gif like “man this lake fucking sucks”

Ladies and gentlemen, the US Olympic hockey team.

Are there so many fish that he can just stick his face in the water and pick one out? Because actually, that seems like a pretty good deal.

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16 Apr 2014

ACTUAL SUMMARY OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY

Zeus: im gonna put my dick in it

Everyone: dont put ur dick in it

Zeus: toO LaTE

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16 Apr 2014

jtotheizzoe:

Yuichi Takasaka’s lunar eclipse photo is better than your lunar eclipse photo.
Taken over Waterton Lakes National Park in Alberta. See those other specks chasing the Moon? Those aren’t lens flares, they’re fellow celestial bodies including Mars, Jupiter, and the star Spica.

That is a super sweet picture!

jtotheizzoe:

Yuichi Takasaka’s lunar eclipse photo is better than your lunar eclipse photo.

Taken over Waterton Lakes National Park in Alberta. See those other specks chasing the Moon? Those aren’t lens flares, they’re fellow celestial bodies including Mars, Jupiter, and the star Spica.

That is a super sweet picture!

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16 Apr 2014

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

tsundereslasher:

E.T., what about E.T.?

That moment when Jeremy realises he’s in his 40’s.

How I feel around my sister’s friends. “Wait…you’ve never heard of Alice in Chains? How old ARE you?!?”

(via thegreg)

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16 Apr 2014

jtotheizzoe:

boop.
This man.

jtotheizzoe:

boop.

This man.

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15 Apr 2014

blissandzen:

hip-hops-dynasty:

sourcedumal:

faramon:

ilovemysassysuperman:

itskalynbitch:

notanotherginger:

Those who say the Black Widow’s fighting style is just movie bullshit can see the above. ^ Shit is terrifyingly real. 

I think I’m in love.

She’s so tiny.
But she could kill me.
Great.

^ That

I will reblog this flying head scissors every time it comes on my dash because it’s so fucking awesome.

That majestic flip

The proper response to being called “little lady.”

blissandzen:

hip-hops-dynasty:

sourcedumal:

faramon:

ilovemysassysuperman:

itskalynbitch:

notanotherginger:

Those who say the Black Widow’s fighting style is just movie bullshit can see the above. ^ Shit is terrifyingly real. 

I think I’m in love.

She’s so tiny.

But she could kill me.

Great.

^ That

I will reblog this flying head scissors every time it comes on my dash because it’s so fucking awesome.

That majestic flip

The proper response to being called “little lady.”

(Source: zkarl)

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15 Apr 2014

bead-bead:

ohaiitsarielle:

novakian:

rhett-the-jet:

The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”

image

I ADORE THIS.  

Yes, okay, I will do this.

(via mildlyamused)

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